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    Sparty Tries Out This Liveblogging Thing, And Also Cyborg Davis

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    Sparty Tries Out This Liveblogging Thing, And Also Cyborg Davis

    Post by [FAZE]xXx420blaz3sc0pexXx on Sun Aug 25, 2013 8:28 am

    So. Basically I'm liveblogging a story my friend is liveblogging and I figure it might be fun to copy her, mostly see how it turns out before I try my own. She gave consent, and I'm too classy to put rape jokes into this, so let's go Cyborg Davis!

    Please note; I have never watched Digimon and thus have only the slightest idea at all about any of the characters or their settings. Thus. Expect stupidity.

    First off;
    "This gets Davis' rival of another noodle-co sneaky ideas of how to sieze control."
    ...The fuck is a noodle-co? I honestly have zero idea what that is or what it's supposed to be or anything. It it like some sort of pool noodle teammate? Is it made of impact foam? Does it float? How does a rival fit into it?

    I may find out soon. God help me.

    ----

    It opens with a wedding between Kari and TK. Okay. Is "TK" some name for Davis or something?

    Nope. Turns out Davis never made it. Did he get stuck in the Digital World? Obviously the answer is easy to see with a bit of extrapolation - it's said right in the opener, Davis is dead. Only he's not. Because we can rebuild him. We have the technology.
    But we don't have the money, so we won't yet. Instead, thinly veiled foreshadowing!

    A bit of filler, nothing really remarkable, still no outward signs he's dead, so Schroedinger's Davis is in full effect.

    So there's this other couple named Yolei and Ken who are also married. I'mma guess they also be main characters, but how're they gonna factor in? One of them his rival?

    Okay. So Davis isn't actually dead, it just turns out that he's like the King of Burgers right now. Well, king of noodle-carts, but apparently it's gone worldwide and now sells things in stores, so I guess good on him maybe.

    "she secretly had a feeling Yolei and Ken were hiding something"
    In the words of the wise Torgue Flexington, "IS IT JUST ME OR DOES IT SEEM LIKE HE'S GONNA BETRAY THE F*CK OUTTA YOU?" Not sure if it'll be Yolei or Ken but I am calling this.

    MEANWHILE, IN THE LEGION OF DOOM...

    So yeah Davis is alive it turns out. He's still a dead man walking, because the Tarot cards said so. Anyways, he's got nothing to do, and no reason to be at the wedding. And he's in a bar. Drinking. GEE I WONDER WHY HE'S THERE OR HOW HE'S GOING TO DIE.

    He's also got a buddy called Veemon, guessing that's probably his Digimon. Because "mon".

    So Davis is still in love with Kari. Even though Kari and TK are married. Okay I can at least get that, but considering this is a punishment fic (as ascribed on the cover) welcome to Red Flag.

    And who the hell knows it turns out Yolei and Ken know about him. Whodathunk. But hey, it's yet to be seen whether or not they're gonna "BETRAY THE F*CK OUTTA YOU" so we'll need to keep watch. Leaning towards a "yes", though.

    Davis stays in the bar all night and gets so shitfaced he starts to hallucinate. Dude, if you're so drunk that Ellie looks like she's got Moxxi's curves, you need to go to the hospital, because alcohol poisoning is a serious deal.

    Aaaaaaand here comes our little Test of Faith and her name is unknown. She's pretty, and sober. Davis is drunk. This can only end well. She introduces herself and Davis acts like your typical rough-and-tough no-nonsense hero with a DRAK AND TARUBLED PASHT.

    She openly asks for sex and Davis responds with screaming. Which gets the attention of everyone in the bar. Apparently Veemon knows that feel bro because for some reason he liked Gatomon, who is with Patamon. Probably gonna go ahead and guess that Gatomon is Kari's and Patamon is TK's. Because really.

    It's only now that I look up and see the chapter name is 'Drunken Depressed Davis'. One point for alliteration and that's all you get.

    Upon smacking Davis with a big, fat dose of reality, Davis parries the hit with his gut and promptly vomits. The bartender, because bartenders always draw the line at vomit, kicks Davis out of the bar. He's dead in a minute, I can tell.

    It takes Davis two minutes to get to the door. He is that drunk. How is he not dead yet?

    He promptly falls to his knees and starts puking all over the road, like that one scene from Team America where the protag vomits more puke than I'm fairly sure he has blood in his body. Veemon stays back because Davis is obviously a crock'a'shit he isn't touching with a ten foot pole, and then there's a sudden rumbling sound.

    It's a car. It's headed for Davis.

    The driver, obviously, slams on the brakes, but there isn't much room, so Davis is going to get a face full of bumper. That doesn't particularly seem lethal, but he's also likely gonna get ran over, so-

    ...

    ...WHAT?

    WHAT?

    WHAT IN the...

    ...alright. So. Davis got hit by the car, so fucking hard, that the engine decided now was a good time to fufill its dream of becoming a Paveway smart bomb. Its imitation was evidently spot-on.

    And by that I mean "the engine exploded". Davis and the driver are unconscious, having somehow survived... nope, not breathing. Dammit Veemon, haven't you heard of cardiopulmonary resuscitation?

    CPR?

    ----

    Taking a dip into the author's note, he apologizes for the GRIMDARK but says he warned us. He did. He promptly expresses disbelief that he has to pair one character up with another, ending with, quote unquote, "I really hate that dude".

    ...Is this what it's like to be looking at one side of a ship war? Because if it is, I'm scared.

    Okay. The only damage I've suffered is damage to the mind, and my mind got blown.

    So. Combustion engines spontaneously detonated, two characters got married, and some dude died. Thus the prologue for Cyborg Davis ends.

    Dear lord, this thing is how many chapters?
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    Re: Sparty Tries Out This Liveblogging Thing, And Also Cyborg Davis

    Post by [FAZE]xXx420blaz3sc0pexXx on Mon Aug 26, 2013 1:21 am

    Day Two of the expedition. We have only suffered minor damage, and the damage was easily repaired. While there are clear signs things will get worse, we choose to continue, for the sake of us all.

    In other words it's about time for Cyborg Davis Part 2: Think About It Teen Titans Style And Be Horrified!

    The name of the chapter is "Save him". Davis is about to become the Million Dollar Man, I presume. Or Million Yen.

    ----

    As per the usual, word of the CEO that got exploded in the street spread quickly, and the rest of the Digidestined (hopefully that's the correct spelling, because Digi Destined seems a bit too... strange) were informed rather quickly. The news is in; he's gonna die.
    This happened the day of a wedding. What an omen.

    "estimated to die at age 27"
    ...Estimated? How old is Davis? Is he 27? If so, there's no excuse for 'estimated'. Either he's dead at 27 or he's not. And if he's not, then why is he going to die in that long? Jesus, you're doctors. Do something! Don't sit around!

    And one of the folks that hears about this is Yami Ninji, owner of the totes originally named NINJI'S NOODLES (I imagine it's mentioned in the same voice Yahtzee used to mention GAMETRADERS ROBINA), a competing noodle company.
    So that's what noodle-co means. Huh.

    Yami acts exactly like dick antagonists are supposed to act, but with none of the redeeming factors. He immediately begins planning to turn Davis' loss of life into his gain.

    "Yami was a very shady and very greedy Noodle-man, who was jealous of Davis the moment he had started his business. Davis made more in a month than he had made in three years time."
    Yami Ninji confirmed for Marcus Kincaid. (No refunds.)

    Apparently NINJI'S NOODLES fell on pretty tough times ever since Davis' unnamed noodle company had started up. So naturally, Yami engages in evil maniacal laughter while hoping that Davis dies so the corporate espionage and hostile takeover of Davis' company is made all the easier. Or, at least, that's what I'm extrapolating from what Mykan wrote.

    Meanwhile, at Everyday General Hospital, Davis' sister Jun and some other dude named Joe I don't know about are trying to save his life, but due to the fact an engine exploded at his gut and he got so shitfaced he saw things that weren't there it was a really tough fight. Dude's liver must be necrifying.

    Apparently Jun is now a big girl, and also the wife of someone named Tai, but now she's rightfully depressed because her bro is gonna die in a few days.

    Everyone outside is heart-struck that Davis is going to die, insert Inigo Montoya "I don't think it means what you think it means" me-me picture here, and Kari and TK didn't go on their honeymoon.

    The Digimon have a short conversation about the dude, and TK joins in blaming himself for the fact Davis couldn't get over it and got rammed by a reverse Ford Pinto. And while everyone else sees the truth, Kari blames herself more for something that she had absolutely zero control over.
    Mykan knows how to write well-fleshed out, mature, three-dimensional characters, don't he? ...oh. Wait. Apparently he doesn't prefer them. Fancy that.

    Anyways. Jun and Joe come back in and announce that Davis is going to die, in so many tactful words. Everyone reacts like you expect them to, and some of those with XY chromosomes feel as if they need to punch holes through concrete to feel manly again.

    Veemon seems to be drunk, or has a lisp, I'm not entirely sure but I am totally leaning with the "permanently drunk" thing, but evidently Davis is too fucked up to be assisted. Not even organ transplants can help him. He's got two days.

    Apparently Izzy, the super-scientist Dr. Hikari of Digimon, seemed not to have a clue on how to fix him, despite him being the head scientist of the Digital World... which makes zero sense because he's not a doctor. Then Tentamon says his whole shell is filled with sadness - guessin' he's a turtle - and Izzy gets an idea!

    Obviously, the idea is risky; just like how Digimon, provided they aren't annihilated, reconfigure themselves after death, if a human were to find their body useless, their consciousness would be transferred into a machine. He would become an androi-no, correction, half android, and likely able to do everyrthing he could before, bar any unforeseen glitches.

    TK and Dari agree without effort, and Izzy phones ahead to the lab.

    Over the next few days, Izzy somehow manages to download Davis' brainwaves - through some mockery of both science and magic - and while this is going on, the other assisted workers began rooting through Davis' body, taking out everything of value. As Turtlemon says he's gonna feel different, Izzy okays uploading the brainwaves into his body, and so the story of Cyborg Davis actually starts.

    ----

    Down in the author's note, Mykan says that he doesn't like killing Davis. Unless he doesn't end up with Kari, ever. "Davis either ends up with Kari… or ends up dead!"

    ...Dude.

    He immediately acknowledged that it's harsh, and says that's how he rolls.

    There are so many things wrong with that...

    Surprisingly, nothing really brain-breaking happened besides downloading someone's brainwaves. And so ends Circle Two of H-erm, Chapter Two of Cyborg Davis.

    To be honest, this seems like it'll get worse before it gets better. If it gets better.
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    Re: Sparty Tries Out This Liveblogging Thing, And Also Cyborg Davis

    Post by [FAZE]xXx420blaz3sc0pexXx on Tue Aug 27, 2013 6:49 am

    Day Three of Expedition 01. Let's go!

    "The New Davis"
    Wonder what this chapter's gonna be focusing on?

    ----

    Davis wakes up to the sound of electronic voices and beeps in his head. He opens his eyes, gets out of bed, and faceplants onto the floor.

    Well, his head hits the floor, but all he hears is a clang and he doesn't feel much pain. Yep he's definitely Cyberdavis now.

    Davis goes to rub his head, and surprise! His legs and his right arm look like they should be on a suit of power armor. His left probably does, too, but we haven't seen it yet.

    Turns out his left arm is perfectly normal, and as he feels up his own face he finds that his jaw has been wired shut. That hope doesn't come true, as Davis speaks - in monotone. He assumes this is a result of his drinking problem, gets up, and promptly crashes to the floor, alerting everyone in the outside corridor.

    Jun is the first one in. After a short conversation, Jun casually drops the fact he suffered a pretty hard head injury in the explosion he was involved in. One short explanation later, Cyborg Davis is actually Half-Android Davis.

    Davis reacts as anyone else would; he attempts to rip off his cybernetic parts, then tackles his sister onto the floor in a desperate attempt to get the armor off. Davis finally gets some sense and sits back, complaining that he is a freak show, while Jun says she'll call up Izzy for an explanation.

    Davis promptly says he's an android. Not a half-android. An android. Get it right.

    Meanwhile, at this story's actual Legion of Doom, Yami is in his office with a Guardromon. Apparently Yami was another Digidestined or something, because with what little I know about Digimon it's the only excuse for being able to control one, and he starts monologuing to his Digimon about how everything is going to his exact specifications.

    Apparently he's put in some paperwork to take control of Davis' noodle company (also, he refers to Davis as Daisuke - which begs the question; how do Davis' friends call him Davis?), somehow, and soon will become president of what he says is the greatest noodle empire in the world.
    Not gonna knock it. Present of a huge chain of food is a swell place to be.

    Guardromon asks what he is under Yami, and Yami replies with "a blithering idiot", as is typical for Blatantly Evil Antagonists. For some reason, despite Yami being the biggest ass this side of Jackville, Guardromon is still working for him, and he requests what Yami's plan is as an excuse for exposition.

    It's actually fairly simple; forge a will, forge a signature, boom. Done in two. And among the spoils are the Krabby Patty secret recipe.

    Noodle secret recipe. Whatever. Yami is Plankton too. Actually that fits him better than Marcus. Yami confirmed for Plankton.

    Back with our hero (yawn), Davis is free from hospital. Everyone's happy, especially Pikachu, or Veemon as he prefers being called, and Izzy explains to Davis why half of him is now a robot. Davis looks sourly at TK and Kari, and then some dude named Cody runs in and turns everyone's attention to the boob tube.

    Apparently, since Davis (I presume that's Mr. Motomiya), who was young, single, and had no will, died, the stock of his noodle company greatly plunged. He also had no will, which means that all of the Tokyo-region employees of Noodle-Corp (even more hilarious than NINJI'S NOODLES) will be attending a stock meeting (yes, all of them) to decide whether it will be sold off or shut down.

    If it is shut down, then all of the employees end up unemployed. On a side note, the reporter also evidently has stock in Noodle-Corp, and expresses his displeasure at it losing value when several thousand people at minimum will be losing steady income.

    Davis immediately shuts down the TV, as is the cliche, and says he needs to get down there - but he's rebuffed by Kari and Gatomon, who still need to rest. Davis rebuffs that further (even though, for some reason, he no longer feels WAFFY around Kari, LOL FORESHADOWING) and heads out regardless.

    ----

    No author's note. Strange.
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    Re: Sparty Tries Out This Liveblogging Thing, And Also Cyborg Davis

    Post by [FAZE]xXx420blaz3sc0pexXx on Wed Aug 28, 2013 8:02 am

    Headphones jacked in, "Indians" playing, FanFiction.net loaded up, guess what time it is?

    IT'S CYBORG DAVIS TIME! (no dad no)

    Welcome to Section 04 of Expedition 01 into the Untamed Lands, where we will be sneaking a peek at the life and times of Daisuke Motomiya, or, as he prefers to be called, "Davis", as he is transformed into an android in a universe that exists solely for its creator to torment its occupants.

    God, now Mykan sounds like AM.

    Chapter 4: "Weaknesses". Hrm... wonder what this one'll be about?

    ----

    Davis manages to get back to work. Everyone is understandably surprised that he's an android now, but otherwise, it's business as usual. Especially since Davis makes an appearance at the stock meeting, and in stark monotone, amends the decision to sell off or shut down. Noodle-Corp continues!

    Yet another Guardromon, however, had been sent to steal something to complete the hostile takeover of Noodle-Corp by NINJI'S NOODLES, but considering Davis' appearance the op changed to surveillance. Once he returned, he conveys the news of Davis being alive to Yami, who handles it with the exact amount of tact you think he does.

    Of course, the fact Davis is kinda alive now also means that Yami's hostile takeover plan has failed entirely. Until his mind stumbles over the fact Davis is now half Robocop. He immediately tasks Guardromon to a nondescript mission that we will no doubt be seeing the effects of sometime within this chapter...

    ...because even machines have weaknesses...

    ...too heavy?

    The next day, Davis wakes up inside a bed, pulling a plug out of the wall that is confirmed in the following sentence as used to recharge him. Apparently Davis now runs on batteries - they can last six months before running out, but usually it's a good idea to recharge them, to keep things topped up.

    Veemon apparently lives with him, as apparent by the fact he wakes up in an author-described "cute little bed", and the two eat, Izzy having somehow managed to construct a digestive system for him. Veemon expresses his joy at Davis having a heartbeat, and Davis asks what the point of all of that is, before figuring he's somewhat confused.

    For some reason, despite being the CEO of a AAA international megacorporation Davis isn't below himself to run a noodle-cart route, which actually says a lot about his character now that I think of it. Apparently the thing Veemon expressed called "love" is confusing to Davis right now, as predicted by the summary, and he ponders it as many kids ask why Davis is a spikebot.

    Apparently Davis is also quite the figure with those of the opposite sex, and when one of them screams that they love him, Davis asks Veemon about it. Veemon responds as rationally as a digital monster can, which is to say "rationally", and Davis...

    "Davis' head cocked to one side and beeped. "Love…? What's, love…?""
    That had to be directly copied. Sometimes there's nothing you can say that can adequately describe what you're reading.

    As Veemon attempts to think on how Davis doesn't know anything about love, despite the fact he was there when Davis was getting shitfaced over Kari, he looks over and sees the devil herself, plus TK, Patamon, and Gatomon having lunch nearby. He immediately makes their way to them and pesters the group about it.

    They respond with the same confusion, and with the knowledge that Davis had a mad crush on Kari which Veemon seems to have forgotten in the heat of the moment. TK brings up that Izzy said there were design flaws, and after a few more seconds of filler they all decide to try and teach the robot what love is, because let's face it, that is entirely what this is.

    Davis, despite not knowing what love is, clearly recognizes TK and Kari as something bad, and promptly plays it cool for a few seconds before TK bluntly tells him that they know he doesn't know what love is. Davis actually asks what love is, and when pressed further to stop joking around;

    "I have no idea what love is. It just doesn't compute with me."
    ...This introduces the possibility that perhaps this Davis is a copy of the real Davis, who died on the table while his brainwaves were being scanned. But that's not gonna be it.

    Kari immediately brings up the fact that Davis had a crush on her, and Davis responds with the fact that said love was what caused him to brave the horrors of exploding automobiles against his will, which implies he at least has some knowledge of what love was.

    Patamon calls Davis out for being a Grumpy McMeaniePants, to which Davis responds that he still feels jealousy despite not feeling love. How this can result in him being jealous of TK for having Kari, while not knowing the exact reason why... Davis most definitively came back wrong.

    The noodles he was boiling began to steam hard as TK assures him they aren't trying to be dicks, to which Davis responds by crashing.

    No, seriously. Davis encounters a system error, shuts down, and goes tumbling.

    TK calls Izzy, and they all begin to move Davis over to TK's car as Guardromon watches from a stealthy environment. Guardromon just found his weakness and mutters to himself how Master is going to love this little tidbit.

    And guess what his weakness is?

    Comprehending love.

    ----

    Meanwhile, down in the base of Author's Notes, Mykan hopes he can finish the story soon. Before I can come up with an easily guessable snide offering, he promptly states what I presume is the reason for wanting to finish it soon; he is getting sick of mentioning the fact TK and Kari are in a relationship.

    "What the heck was I thinking?"
    In quotes, for some reason.

    So ends Segment 04. The bottom is visible from here, and it's full of spiders, snakes, spikes, and death walls.
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    Re: Sparty Tries Out This Liveblogging Thing, And Also Cyborg Davis

    Post by [FAZE]xXx420blaz3sc0pexXx on Thu Aug 29, 2013 10:31 am

    Beep Beep, Segment 05 of Expedition 01 begins now.

    "Stay away". Hurm. Maybe Davis finally goes batshit crazy in this chapter.

    ----

    As it turns out, comprehending love didn't cause the crash. The actual cause was the heavy steam from the noodle-cart. Izzy just said a few of his fuses blew (I question why a half-android would need fuses), and fixed him fast.

    He also took the opportunity to do what Jace Beleren does on a daily basis and root through his memories, finding out that his body had deleted all mentions of what love was, in a DM Fiat not seen since my old Spredronians (don't ask). And even then, he can still feel hate, rage, and jealousy - which makes Tentamon's head hurt, makes Izzy's head hurt, and makes my head hurt. At least Mykan is self-aware enough to do that.

    Izzy decides to pull a Twilight Sparkle and get deeper into research, in the hopes he can make Davis normal again. And, invoking the chapter name, he directs everyone to stay away from Davis until he gets better, like he's got Super AIDS or Ebolavirus Zaire. The main reason being that Davis still holds a grudge against Kari and TK despite not knowing what love is.

    ""Still… all that stress isn't good for him, he could blow his bolts from thinking too hard"
    Uh... what does the expression "blow his bolts" even mean?

    "Kari and TK were licked."
    ...whuh...

    That aside, TK and Kari decide to leave, and Izzy fits Davis with something to prevent steam blowouts. I like to call it a heat sink.

    Meanwhile...

    Guardromon informs Yami of most of the events of Chapter 4, to which Yami acts stereotypically evil to outdated information. Not that he knows.

    Yami promptly instructs Guardromon to just flat-out murder Davis, though in a case of smarts, he wants it done all accident-like, so no suspicion rests on his part.

    Later that night, Davis and Veemon are getting ready for bed and listening to the radio when a broadcast about some dangerous dude in spiky armor appears. Davis assumes it's him and ignores it, before going to bed. And dreaming.

    As noted by the author, "odd thing for an android to do."

    Finding himself in a dark, misty night, after a few seconds of walking he spies nothing but couples. People in love, doing things that people in love do. Davis seems to be invisible - either that, or he has shroud - and is ignored by everyone as he walks through what I'm gonna term Makeout Point.

    "Something inside him was trying to tell him that he had once known all this before, but his computer systems just couldn't make it out."
    ...yeah. Davis is trying to fetch something that doesn't exist. And then, the hammer blow: Davis sees Kari... and himself.

    Davis quietly watches his past self and Kari go on a date, before a ring on Kari's finger slips off. Davis goes to fetch it, and surprise surprise, a car hits him.

    In what is also a surprise, the car doesn't explode like it's in Grand Theft Auto. Davis runs up to his past-self, who immediately snarls that he let this happen.

    After a couple more seconds of dying past dream Davis turning into present Davis and ripping down his own self-esteem, Davis spins around in the dark like he's dying, then wakes up from the nightmare.

    "He felt as if that dream was trying to tell him something about love… but still he just couldn't understand a thing."
    ...I don't think we'll be teaching the robot how to love today.

    ----

    And no author's note, so no commentary on that.

    I hope you enjoyed this.
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    Re: Sparty Tries Out This Liveblogging Thing, And Also Cyborg Davis

    Post by [FAZE]xXx420blaz3sc0pexXx on Fri Aug 30, 2013 10:16 am

    Welcome to Segment 06/14 of Expedition 01, codenamed "Cyborg Davis". On Level 6, we will descend further into the depths of this site, and peer at what lies within in the hopes this will never happen again.

    Chapter Six. "Steamed up". It would be too good to hope that a sex scene happens, that probably just has something to do with Davis' recently-patched weakness being steam.

    ----

    The next morning, Kari is seen scooping many, many scoops of sugar into her coffee. TK asks her, and Kari promptly snaps out of her funk. She's clearly worried about Davis, and so is TK. Gatomon immediately suggests trying to get Davis to hook up with other women - Patamon rebuffs him with the fact that sort of thing stresses him out, which I'll presume is for obvious reasons  (i.e. he doesn't remember what love is).

    Meanwhile, Davis himself says he's looking pretty good "for a freak", and does his morning ritual - which includes armor wax, for some reason. There's a short conversation with Yolei and Ken, who ask if he wants to tag along with them to head to work; Davis answers positively.

    Over at his place of work, some of Yami's henchmen, who Mykan pulled from the confines of Yami's anus, are busy reworking some of the building's plumbing so that Davis will get steamed up.
    Dear lord, that just... why. Why?

    As said henchman leaves, Davis enters, greets his various employees, then heads up to his office on the top floor. Evidently, there's a shit-ton of paperwork to manage, and Davis also needs to manage carts, because that's what being a millionaire is about.
    So I pose you a hypothetical question; if Davis has to do a constant stream of paperwork and manage noodle-carts worldwide how the fuck does he have the time to run his own route?

    Veemon apparently heads around with him, and when they reach the floor they find it's a bit hot. The wood has somehow warped from the heat, or the wetness, I'm not sure, but if wood is warping it's generally a bad sign, and as he opens the door he gets a bit rush of weakness directly to the face.

    Turns out Davis somehow got a break from the Old God Mykan, and he weathers the storm with impunity, and promptly opens the windows. This is due to...

    ...uh...

    ...steam-pressure chips inside his body...

    ...and apparently they absorb the steam and convert it to energy...

    ...I'm not sure whether to ridicule this or say he's got it wrong. I doubt microchips can do that, though, but geothermal power is a thing, and turbines are turned by steam in nuclear power plants, so it would simply be a manner of miniaturizing the turbine part. I guess it would be possible.

    There is a drawback, that being the chips have a capacity and merely act as a stopgap for his weakness - enough steam will still fry him. That being said, Davis calls a clean-up crew, while the spy slash henchman (more issues with proper terminology) is surprised Davis managed to survive, and like Guardromon turns his attention to espionage instead of murder.

    Davis goes out on his cart-route, despite being the CEO of an international megacorporation that has a metric fuckton of non-cart-route-related work to do, and the spy trails him, surprised that he's seemingly outgrown his weakness to steam.

    "You can bet your boots that when Yami heard about this, he was ever so frustrated."
    ...I what? Bet my boots? How does that work as a metaphor or a euphemism? How? It's like "blow his bolts", or the endless horse puns that come with being a member of the MLP fandom - it's strange and I don't understand it.

    That doesn't change the fact Yami gets pissed at his sp-oh wait it turns out it was still Guardromon! Mention this shit! Don't assume the audience is omnipotent! Yami presumes Davis has more than one weakness using the "more than one way to skin cats" phrase, and while he thinks, Guardromon reveals that apparently he knows something about Davis that the proprietor of NINJI'S NOODLES doesn't.

    Yami reacts exactly like you'd expect him to.

    ----

    And still no author's note. For some reason this part seems a bit smaller than the others. Maybe I've just settled into a good laconic routine, or maybe there's just not enough psycho-cray shit happening.

    Oh well. Hope you enjoyed!
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    Re: Sparty Tries Out This Liveblogging Thing, And Also Cyborg Davis

    Post by [FAZE]xXx420blaz3sc0pexXx on Sun Sep 01, 2013 9:10 am

    Segment 07/14 reached. Expedition 01 only reports minor damages by fringe craft, with the majority of the exposition fine in all regards.

    So let's cut the chatter and get right to the story.

    "Messages from Kari". I get the feeling this is going to be a bad one. Let's see if I'm right.

    ----

    Apparently Davis has a fairly large shed, and when he's done with his noodle-cart he parks it there. And that's when he gets the news the Clam-Bake Incident was not an accident. It was purposeful. Unfortunately, there are no clues as to who tampered with the steam pipes in the building (nevermind the fact a fucking modern-day skyscraper has steam pipes), but it still confirms that someone out there wants Davis dead hard.

    Requesting what's pretty much a security level increase, Davis waits until the night-shift security guards can arrive. Veemon pesters him about retiring to their estate, but Davis apparently has emails to check. He does so, getting the usual messages a CEO would get. And one message from Kari Takashi, which makes Davis clench his fists and growl. Apparently Cyhulk Davis is getting angry.

    The message in particular;

    Code:
    Davis…

    I can' stop thinking about you. TK doesn't even understand how I feel about you anymore. I worry about you a lot, and sometimes I think of you more than just a friend.

    Hope you're okay…

    Love: Kari…
    Yep. Kari still loves him. Without even reading the following sentences I predict this is going to set him the ever-loving fuck off.

    ...No. Apparently Davis grew some maturity, and he deletes it while thinking she's trying to make him jealous. While also remarking it's not fair they're only friends.

    ...Consistency issues, ho!

    ----

    Apparently not getting the issue that some people get concerned when you turn into Iron Man (which, by the way, now fits this fic so fucking well) Davis finds another letter of concern from Kari. This one physical. He acts as reasonable as someone turned into a robot can.

    By which I mean he chucks it in the fireplace without a second thought. He checks his phone messages against his will, but fortunately his trigger isn't there and some of his friends are inviting him over for poker - no TK and Kari.

    You know, now that I think on it what was with the whole "everyone stay away from Davis" thing? Don't ignore that shit! Izzy is a fucking scientist and he knows what he's doing!

    They also say the L-word, which sets him off again. Now, not gonna riff on Davis for fixiating over love - he's been presented with it enough to know rudimentarily what it is, and now he starts getting pissed off he can't feel it. Which is also fairly rational considering how biggity-badass people make it out to feel.

    So... It's sort of sad when this happens;

    "even if he could feel love, would he even want to remember it?"

    And it sinks back into... issues. Feeling and remembering something are two different things. It's not consistency but something's off about this.

    Moving on.

    Davis sits down to an author-described rare steak dinner in front of his TV. Taking temporary comfort in his money, he seeks Veemon for reassurance, who replies...

    ""It sure can, Davish! COWABUNGA…!" and he dove right into the chicken gnawing at it like a grinder-saw."

    Yeah. Veemon pulled a Turtles. No words.

    Back at the Legion of NINJI'S NOODLES, Guardromon is serving Yami his dinner when Yami feels like being hamtastic because reasons. Apparently the messages from Kari were - get this - fakes sent by Yami to loosen him up. Guardromon presents the very real possiblity that even if Davis were to kill himself, considering he was revived from death, nothing is stopping the Digidestined from doing it again - to which Yami responds with;

    ""Silence, bolt-brain!" Yami snapped. "Do you honestly think that I would just give Daisuke as much as a minor blown fuse? Absolutely not… I am going to give him such an incredible ride that his should blow himself out completely. I doubt that even the greatest geniuses it the world would be able to fix him after that.""

    As said before, sometimes you need to directly quote something because really, you can't do much else.

    And as Davis tries to get some recharge time in, he keeps turning things over in his head. The messages from Kari are, sadly, working like a total charm - and he quotes Izzy asking him to stay away from TK and Kari, despite the fact Izzy stated "everyone".

    ...apparently I have been told Izzy just told Kari and TK to stay away, and not everyone. Well, I apologise for this consistency error.

    ----

    HAS HE LOST HIS MIND
    CAN HE SEE OR IS HE BLIND
    ...okay so Iron Man doesn't fit this well at all. Still. At this point it's just dreck, sadly. Nothing over-the-top. Then again, you can't be Saints Row.
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    Re: Sparty Tries Out This Liveblogging Thing, And Also Cyborg Davis

    Post by [FAZE]xXx420blaz3sc0pexXx on Mon Sep 09, 2013 7:41 am

    Segment 08/14 of Cyborg Davis reached.

    Opening memory file for playback...

    ----

    "Miseries, and Mysteries." I'm asking why there's a comma.

    So apparently Kari who isn't really Kari but actually Ninji has been blitzing the shit out of Davis with emails that aren't so much 'sordid' as 'sappy', all concerned and "sending her love". Through every manner possible. And now Davis' ears are starting to vent excess steam. Veemon nags at him for this, even though chances are the steam venting is probably the only thing keeping him from exploding right now.

    Davis rubs his face with his "fleshy-hand" and manages to calm down, but apparently Yami is watching him from his office, because while Guardromon fucked with the steam pipes he also rewired one of the security cameras! PLOT TWIST OUT OF ANUS!

    Yami, noting his plan is working, opts to do more of it and enlists Guardromon to send more messages.

    Later that night, Davis is at Ken and Yolei's for poker night. And so are Cody and... Armadillamon.

    What? Armadillamon? Seriously? That's a Digimon? Jeez. No offense, but that's a pretty stupid name.

    Moving on.

    Everyone at the game goes all in in an attempt to get Davis down, but Davis not getting the shit beat out of him by the author, in a move that surprises me in a punishment fic starring his emo, reveals his hand of four aces.

    Again.

    How can this end badly? The dude's got four aces multiple times, that's a more rigged draw than Tron. Eitherwhats, Davis gives the money back, being generous, a pretty good sign the dude's down to earth even though he runs a Fortune 500 corporation by now. Yolei is also doing the dishes, and she complains about it; Ken moves over and affectionately helps her.

    Which pisses off Davis-bot 5000. Apparently he begins to hallucinate that Yolei and Ken are him and Davis, but it stops the second it begins because love is still a com-plex and con-fus-ing e-mo-tion to this an-droid cy-borg ro-bot hyoo-mann. Jun asks if he's okay, to which he replies he's daydreaming.

    Get the terminology right. Imagining you with someone else in place of a couple is daydreaming, not hallucination.

    Tai cuts directly to the chase about Kari, and gets kicked in the leg by Jun in response - only for Davis to sensibly agree with what's being said. Only he didn't, because apparently everyone can tell via his tone of voice that he's making it sound like Kari betrayed him.

    Despite the fact he speaks in fucking monotone.

    Cody once again attempts to kick some sense into Davis' positronic brain, saying that all Kari's crime was is loving TK. Davis immediately responds by holding up his metal-plated arm and saying that for loving TK that is what Davis got.

    He immediately begins self-depreciation due to the fact he's an android, and then rambles about how he no longer understands love, and how... well...

    "Now Kari's marriage to TK was enough to make him want to blow out all his bolts."
    That implies suicide. Since Guardromon earlier quivers in his bolts, that also implies that... it implies that Davis wants to blow out his feet. It was either that or Guardromon is quivering in his fucking head. And no matter how you look at it, it's physically impossible to do either.

    Davis concludes by saying that his friends should have let him die, and Yolei responds by hitting him on the not-steel part of his head. In a moment of meta-awareness, Yolei immediately says that Davis shouldn't say he wanted to die because one thing happened to him, to which Davis responds by saying he already did. He promptly says he's a little edgy. One could say... 2edgy.

    He immediately shows them the letters from Kari, all in her handwriting. Tai plans to have a chat with her, and Ken, apparently a police officer trying to become a detective, takes one of the latters after a brief inspection and asks for paper from Kari's while Tai is there. Everyone thinks it's odd, but it's pretty clear what he's trying to do.

    Everyone leaves after "a while", and Veemon asks Davis if he'd rather have died, to which Davis responds that he's confused. Apparently... well, I'm gonna quote him.

    '"Of all the things I have, I never got to have the one thing I deeply desired for so long… and now I've reached the point where I just can't understand these feelings anymore. I mean… Kari's still on my mind, but all it's doing is confusing me, and making me angry."'
    Yes. Because Kari is confusing him and confusion angers the Davis-bot. And you wouldn't like him when he's angry.
    (I was surprised I didn't do a Hulk joke, too.)

    Veemon and Davis both think that maybe Davis is starting to understand what love is. But neither of them know if it's necessarily good.
    I don't think it is. Considering how he's been acting once he remembers what love is he's probably going to snap and go on a murder spree.

    ----

    No author's note, so nothing goes here. Next time, things happen!
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    Re: Sparty Tries Out This Liveblogging Thing, And Also Cyborg Davis

    Post by [FAZE]xXx420blaz3sc0pexXx on Tue Sep 10, 2013 5:53 am

    SEGMENT 09/14 OF CYBORG DAVIS REACHED

    OPENING MEMORY FILE

    ...OPENED

    ----

    Welcome to Chapter 9. We have five chapters left, so stay tuned, this killfest will be over soon!

    And by killfest, I of course mean the people who are dying by reading this. I don't have a SAN stat, so I can't be affected by this story. Good for me, huh?

    Onto the show. "The brains behind it all." Make your own conclusions here.

    Over the span of a few days, Ken and Izzy analyze the messages Kari sent. Tai confronts Kari, who is apparently her sister (no fault of the author, I just don't watch Digimon) and it turns out she's sent nothing to Davis.

    And if that shocks her, the physical evidence blows her over - the letters have perfect handwriting and match the pen colors, but Kari still denies having used the Internet to talk to people since the wedding, and TK vouches for her.

    They come to two conclusions. The first is that someone is pulling a prank on Davis, which, considering how Davis is the spike-monster from the deep, or that, quote unquote;
    "Or was someone out there trying to set him up so he'd get all steamy and blow his circuits?"
    ...I can't have explained that in any manner that wouldn't have made me feel dirty.

    Either way, until Izzy and Ken definitively prove that Kari sent them, there's no way to tell for sure. Tai leaves, and the second Tai is gone, there's a knick. Kari answers, and they ask for her name, "Hikari Takashi". Inconsistency, ho!

    Kari nods, and promptly takes a surprise physical attack to the face. With no way to block and a presumed low constitution stat, she takes full nonlethal damage and gets knocked out. TK, Patamon, and Gatomon immediately head over to check out what just happened, and they rather nondescriptively get KO'd as well.
    ...Aren't Digimon supposed to be like ultrapowerful? Maybe it's like Bakugan and when they're not in the Digital World they have no superpowers, but still, it seems a bit... abrupt.

    The leader of the group immediately vouches to take them, saying his boss, who is most definitely Yami Ninji of NINJI'S NOODLES, will be pleased. And whaddya know the very next sentence turns out Yami was the boss, who had ordered them to take the Takashi household hostage. He... uh...
    "Hmm, mm, mm… good. Very good!"
    ...speaks rather stiltedly as he revels in the glee of the unstoppable Phase One completing, and says to begin Phase Two. He immediately begins another fake-love-note blitz, stating that apparently as the English would say, that shall be his finest performance.
    Consider what you are speaking, Yami.

    Meanwhile, with the knowledge of science, chemistry, and... observations (this one sticks out a bit), Ken and Izzy work around the clock and end up figuring out that Kari didn't send the letters. However, they still don't know who actually did.

    Izzy opts to take a closer look, and they place a paper under a... a...
    ...Oh, wow...
    ...They put it under a fucking super-microscope.

    After enhancing the image, they find skin flakes on the paper. They immediately run DNA scans, but the flakes are too small to get anything. They immediately apply rigor and get roughly the same results, before turning to a trump method... calling Davis. Who's a bit pissed that he got woken up. Can't blame him.

    Apparently he's still ridiculously pissed off about the text messages from Kari, because Davis can't understand emotion, and everything he can't understand, he smashes. Izzy quickly delivers the news; turns out the culprit isn't Kari. The new plan; Davis gives him the cell phone before work, and then backtracing the signal from one of the sent text messages.
    You know, one would think that if you were to simply look at the phone number that Davis would know it wasn't Kari. But then again this story is not about sanity. It is about PUNISHMENT.

    And speaking of Punishment, smash cut to Kari, TK, Gatomon, and Patamon, who all wake up in cages. Seperate cages for each of them. Ninji did his planning. Apparently, because the room is dark, Gatomon finds it inviting, which raises questions not of the author, before a middle-aged man who is no doubt going to be named Yami Ninji, owner of NINJI'S NOODLES, walks in. His eyes give off the fact he is nothing but trouble.

    Ninji... grits his prisoners (SPELLING MISTAKE), and tells him they're in his factory, that he owned and founded. Because you found factories instead of building them. In a specified as "normal" language, his name would mean darkness. He jokes about it, to the disgust of the captives, and the distate of moi.

    He immediately shows them Guardromon, his assistant, and apparently Patamon immediately says that since... something called... fucking Malyomyotismon was killed, only those that are of Good alignment can control a Digimon.

    Yami responds by saying he fucked the rules, and promptly adds that soon he will get many more digifolk for his control.

    It is then that he immediately explains his plan at the behest of Kari; for those who have impossibly just joined in now, it basically centers to "asshole got jealous because of better business and wants it all for himself, and proceeds to go to extreme lengths when he could just have performed corporate espionage".

    TK obviously says his plan won't work, as all heroes are wont to do, and as all one-D villains are also wont to do, Yami immediately says that he only cares for himself, and promptly calls Davis a half-man while referring to him as "Motomiya", while pretty much saying he should just die already.

    Being chained inside sepearate cages inside a dark room, there's no way to get out, and Guardromon aims his built-in guns (I assume) at the prisoners to make sure that even though they're completely immobile they don't move. Which is pretty pragmatic, come to think of it.

    Kari and TK got stripped of their "sell-phones", which I presume means they are telemarketers, as well as their D3s and D-Terminals, which register in my mind as Digimon stuff that maybe has something to do with the Digital World kind of. The Digimon are apparently not strong enough to break the bars on the cages - made of fucking super-titanium metal.
    Super-titanium.
    Really.

    Apparently this constitues phase two, and soon the Big Move will have begun... and since there's no author's note, that's where we cut today.
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    Re: Sparty Tries Out This Liveblogging Thing, And Also Cyborg Davis

    Post by [FAZE]xXx420blaz3sc0pexXx on Wed Sep 11, 2013 7:15 am

    SEGMENT 10/14 OF CYBORG DAVIS IDENTIFIED
    OPENING FILE...
    OPENED. PLAY? (Y/N)
    PLAYING...

    ----

    So. Kari, TK, and their Digimon are trapped, Davis is kinda pissed, and Yami has plans. Time for Chapter 10 of Anborg Davis!

    In one sentence, Yami is described as keeping his prisoners under heavy watch. He also knows tomorrow night will be a NIGHT TO REMEMBER, IN ALL OF HISTORY~

    The next morning, Tai and Jun are moving to work, and since they seem to live in an apartment complex they headed to chat up TK and Kari. To find that the place is a mess, like they'd been robbed. Tai calls out for the two of them, and nothing responds.

    Davis is also heading to work, and as he passes said building he notes the fuzz are on it like bees to a flower. Davis stops by and checks it out, and someone tells them people living there got kidnapped.

    Half-man and not-man share one look before they notice the presence of Tai, Jun, Yolei, and Ken - and then they hear that it's Kari and TK that get kidnapped.

    The cogs turn in Davis' head as he thinks that they weren't targeting Kari and TK specifically. As if to prove that, Ken returns Davis' cell phone and - surprise surprise - said "mystery person" outs himself by ordering Noodle-Corp to be given to him, on pain of the death of his friends.

    Turns out Davis knew Yami. NINJI'S NOODLES was at the TOP OF ITS GAME, but eventually Yami became a GREEDY DOUCHEBAG and when Davis swooped in he got REALLY PISSED AND COVETOUS.

    Unlike Plankton (who is arguably more effective and likeable even though he always fails), he simply attempts to buy Davis' recipes, only for them to be denied. Davis outright called him greedy for offering to give him money in exchange for his life's works, and thus Yami Ninji swore vengeance. Davis had managed to juke his plans so far, but he immediately decides to storm the villains' lair with Veemon.
    Alone.
    Even Yolei thinks this is stupid.

    Davis immediately calls the "it's my problem and I can fix it" excuse, and then displays that he'd rather not get his friends in trouble for shit that involves him. As our intrepid heroes walk away, Tai immediately realizes that he was putting their lives before his - or, in other words, an act of love.

    Before any more philosophical discussion about what it means to feel love, or what love is, springs up, Tai immediately says that they can't just let Davis charge off into suicide for a bit, and Jun, outed by the author as "she wasn't a Digi Destined at all" (you bastard) call everyone up and form a plan to presumably give Davis backup.

    Meanwhile, in the EVIL EVIL OF EVIL, Yami is making plans. The bastard knows Davis is a DigiDestined, and thus has Veemon with him - and by the line "put up a fight" that implies that Digimon still hold power. He creepily strokes a remote, saying that he'll be ready if he does. Guardromon, manservanty as ever, compliments Yami for finally getting a master plan to work - and then PLOT TWIST;
    '"Thank you Guardromon…" said Yami. "And I accept your resignation."'
    Yep. He's been fired. Perhaps literally.

    The prisoners are still trying to escape. Kari and TK, being suck humans, can't bend the bars. Gatomon calls her Lightning Paw attack and ends up simply busting her claws trying to bend the... ugh... super-titanium, and Patamon doesn't even try to use whatever a Boom-Bubble is. Each of the prisoners are worried that they're not going to get out, and Kari is worried about Davis, because if he busts in, she fears he'll hit overflow and shut down.

    And in yet another sudden plot hardening that doesn't make sense in a punishment fic (then again, neither does 14 chapters), Izzy had given Davis another steam upgrade, and he immediately installs it into his chest, before grabbing a D3 and D-Terminal... and most likely rushing off to his doom.

    ----

    There are not a lot of author's notes recently.
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    Re: Sparty Tries Out This Liveblogging Thing, And Also Cyborg Davis

    Post by [FAZE]xXx420blaz3sc0pexXx on Thu Sep 12, 2013 5:08 am

    SEGMENT 11/14 - CYBORG DAVIS
    FILE ACCESS COMPLETED
    RECORDING FOUND
    PLAYBACK INITIATED

    ----

    Welcome to the cheerily named "Extreme Torture" chapter. Gee, I wonder what's going to happen here? Maybe Yami will torture TK, Kari, Gatomon, and Patamon and have Davis and Veemon watch! And this is before I even read! There's still three chapters left, so let's stop being falsely optimistic and go!

    The sun is setting and Yami's laughing in a horribly, horribly stilted manner about the fact that apparently his master plan will only appear at night. He promptly heads over towards the Super-Titanium Ultra-Imprisonment Hypercages and tells his prisoners - i.e. the Unfavored Pairing - that they will be the first to see him become PRESIDENT OF THE GREATEST NOODLE INDUSTRY IN THE really?
    Seems kinda... kinda trivial.

    TK calls Yam out for being an asshole, and Yami responds by saying that perhaps by moving in on his territory, making money that by all rights should have been his, and forcing his company into bankruptcy, all because Davis ran a better business than he did, that Davis was an asshole before he was.

    Yami ceases to bother with all rational or conventional explanation beyond this, heading out to get what's "rightfully his", even if he has to commit to violence (which he has already) to get it. This fucking dude has the largest sense of entitlement I have ever seen. Kari immediately calls him out for being a greedy fuck, to which Yami responds by siccing his security guards on her. They proceed to open her cage and start beating on her...
    ...by slapping her. I...
    Jesus fuck, really? There's a hundred thousand fucking ways you could have roughed her up - beat her, tased her, hell, even raped her if you're of low enough class, but slapping? Jesus Christ, that's like trying to kill someone with a fucking spoon.

    Somehow, Yami gets off to Slapfest 20XX and immediately asks if anyone else has any witty retorts, to which Davis immediately responds, standing in the doorway alone. Kari and TK are understandably relieved.

    Davis politely requests that Yami let his prisoners go. Yami restates he'll do so if Davis turns his corporate empire over to himself. Showing here his true priorities lie, Davis calls him a blackmailing swindler and charges him. Yami whips out the Chapter Ten Remote Control and clicks a red button on it that is likely the only button on it.

    Davis promptly slows down and gets thrown up against a wall, as if some sort of magnetic device had attracted him. And as it turns out that's what happened; Yami invested in a nice little wall magnet. An industrial strength wall magnet, too. And since Davis is made of metal, he's pretty much immobilized, while the mega-metal cages are not pulled at all. Yami immediately foreshadows the upcoming "Extreme Torture" by saying it's half of his "little persuasion".

    He immediately opts to go for the torture route, trying to force Noodle-Corp into his hands, and to that effect... he brings down a TV screen. Saying he's going to appeal to his senses, he immediately says that he controls a spy camera, and turns on a video.

    ...And as it turns out, that video is Kari and TK fucking. Kari and TK feel violated, Gatomon and Patamon feel disgusted, and Davis feels angry. For some reason seeing the two of them having sex is what finally pushes him over the edge and makes him realize Kari is not his anymore..
    If this was a sane story this would have happened when Davis got run over by a fucking suicide car.

    Davis is starting to do the cartoon-steam-ears thing, and his head starts jerking about while Yami acts like the smuggest bitchface in existence. This goes on for a bit, because apparently Robo-Davis gets extremely pissed off when he sees his almost girlfriend having sex, before Davis finally stops moving and hangs his head. Everyone immediately assumes that he's died.

    If this were a normal fanfic, Davis would get a second wind about now. Unfortunately, Yami is too cold and calculating an asshole, and the Dakari-King is even more of an asshole, so Davis stays blown out with nothing to repair him. Yami gloats about his imminent kill, and in a 180 from what I was expecting, the chapter ends with "Or so he thought..."

    ----

    Meanwhile, in the Author's Note;
    "I cannot believe I just did that. I had to make Kari and TK DO IT!!"
    This dude is complaining that he needed to make two fictional characters have sex when one of them was a member of his OH TEE PEE. ...Why.
    He immediately says that although this hasn't ended, everyone should know that Davis is a dead man. "I have no alternative!"
    ...Tch. Not even dignifying that one. But I responded to it, therefore dignifying it with a response. Fuck.

    So! Next time! Will Yami's plan be stopped? Is Veemon going to perform a cavalry rescue? Will Davis die this chapter, the next one, or the last one?

    All of these will be answered when I can be arsed to make another chapter!
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    Re: Sparty Tries Out This Liveblogging Thing, And Also Cyborg Davis

    Post by [FAZE]xXx420blaz3sc0pexXx on Fri Sep 13, 2013 6:41 am

    SEGMENT 12/14 - CYBORG DAVIS
    PROCESS COMPLETE
    SPLINES RETICULATED
    OPENING FILE

    ----

    So! Davis is almost dead, the Unfavored are still trapped, and a cliffhanger still happened. It's time for Segment 12 of Cydroid Davis! And it's named "Danger levels". At least it's not named Danger Zone.

    As if by magic, Mykan feels he needs to remind us that this is not ending in divorce, and that we all "know what Davis gets if he loses Kari". Yeah. If anyone does suggest divorce, then they're cluelessly naive.

    ---

    Yami immediately orders his guards to disassemble Davis for replacement parts. And - well fuck, it looks like Davis got a second wind! Who would have thought that had happened?

    He immediately says that his skin might be steel, but at least it's not wrinkly steel, and Yami is promptly stunned and can't do anything during his round. Fortunately, talking is always a free action, so he expresses disbelief at the fact Davis isn't dead.

    Apparently that thing that went into his chest was... uh...
    ...um...
    "Davis would get angry and extremely stressed from seeing things that bothered him, but the systems would actually slow-down his inside-systems, so he wouldn't short out from the stress."
    ...uh... I...
    ...Moving on...

    Davis promptly sends Ex-Veemon in, who I am presuming is a powered up Veemon. He proceeds to somehow rush Yami to the ground, before smashing the remote to the wall magnet. This shuts it off and Davis slips off.

    The guards, being mooks, attempt to charge Davis, to which EX-Veemon responds by taking most of them down with a single tail swipe. He shouts to Davis to grab the keys, and Davis does so and frees the prisoners. As they get into an elevator (a big no-no), Yami gets up and starts to chase after them.

    Meanwhile, the Unfavored Couple are pretty damn happy that Davis saved their ass. He asks them not to thank him, then interrupts Kari when she tries to give her gratitude.

    Why? Because Kari and TK had sex, and he's pissed he risked his life to save them. No, seriously.
    "Care…? Care about what…? The facts that I just risked myself to save the likes of Kari and TK after seeing them get on with it on that tape… and stabbing me in my mechanical-heart?"

    He snaps at TK, repeating that he's a robot (more inconsistency, yay!) who doesn't have a use for love. Jesus, Davis is bitchy here. Kari immediately says Davis still has love in him, and Davis sighs while he tries to think about this. Evidently he doesn't consider Kari or TK friends anymore, since they shacked up. He gets no more time to think, because Yami seals off the exit doors.

    And before much of note can be done, here comes Andromon! Not sure who he is, but apparently he's bloodthirsty and he has a LIGHTNING-BLADE... Which he very much plans to use. It's explicitly stated everyone is fucked, because Kari and TK somehow managed to leave their D3s at home despite the men having stolen the, and apparently Gatomon can't defeat an "Ultimate", whatever it is. Yami (presumably stroking himself) is watching from a box in the ceiling we can only presume he contorted himself into.
    This is probably where EX-Veemon comes in to save the day.

    EX-Veemon comes in to save the day. With some sort of VEE-LASER, he blasts Andromon directly into a steam pipe, DAVIS' ONE WEAKNESS!
    Apparently Davis trained Veemon up a bit and had him exercise so he could level up a couple of times and boost his stats. With that bit of exposition out of the way, EX-Veemon and Andromon start beating the shit out of each other. Busting open more steam pipes and breaking dangerous equipment while they're at it.

    Police sirens sound off as the two Digimon duke it out, and the cops ask Yami Ninji to step out with hands in the air. Ken promptly calls Davis, saying that he had called up the fuzz to give some backup. Davis promptly conveys that Yami sealed the doors.
    Why not just have EX-Veemon laser the door open?

    As the battle continues on, wires and pipes keep getting smashed, a "red-alarm" sounds, and...
    ...Why the fuck would there even be a steam-meter? What fucking purpose would a building have for a steam-meter? And what the fuck is a dangerous level of steam? Probably enough to bake you, but still, that's just ridiculous!
    Gatomon promptly...
    ...What?
    HOW IN THE FUCKING...
    ...So apparently, because of the sparks from the wires interacting with motherfucking water vapor, explosions are going to happen in five minutes.

    ----

    ...I never thought I'd find something that rivalled the stupidity of the Chapter One Pinto, but apparently I did. And it's a water vapor explosion.
    ...How?

    Tune in next time, when... boom, probably.
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    Re: Sparty Tries Out This Liveblogging Thing, And Also Cyborg Davis

    Post by [FAZE]xXx420blaz3sc0pexXx on Sun Sep 22, 2013 12:11 am

    SEGMENT 13/14 - CYBORG DAVIS
    LOADING...
    PACIFYING SLAVES
    FILLING GLASSES

    ----

    Welcome to 13/14 of Anborg Cydroid! In this chapter, more stupid shit is undoubtedly gonna happen. I'm not sure if anyone's listening or if I'm stuck in my own private echo chamber, so let's just get this over with.

    "He always loved her." Sounds like the part where he dies.

    Yami, realizing the fuzz ain't nothin' to fuck with, immediately tries to leave... via one of his sealed emergency exits. Davis tackles Yami to the floor and immediately says he plans to go down with Yami and the Ship if he has to.

    Outside the building, the police have cordoned it off and only the Digidestined are let through. Upon hearing there's a large amount of steam in the building, Izzy does a couple quick calculations and...
    ...apparently there is enough steam in there that the building is going to collapse. At this point I'm not even surprised anymore.

    Matt and Tai get their Digimon and Warp-Digivolve them into Metal-Garurumon and Wargreymon, who I imagine to be sort of like Iron Man and War Machine if they were talking anime Internet dinosaurs, and with their powers combined they blow through the door, upon which Patamon proclaims their arrival.

    Tai and Matt follow their Digimon into the heavily steam-laden building, and they manage to rather quickly find TK and Kari, upon which they point out Davis and Yami locked in a "dog fight".
    That word does not mean what you think it means 2: Electric Boogaloo.

    If nothing else, the steam in the building is proving dangerous to Davis in a partially-believable-way: the steam chips are beyond maximum capacity, so Davis is getting weaker every second he fights. For some reason he's still able to shrug off a spark in the fleshy part of his face, despite sparks somehow being able to cause detonations when combined with water.

    Patamon immediately says that they have to get out of the building because the steam is at DANGER LEVELS, but Kari says she doesn't want to leave Davis. Unfortunately, everyone's already getting the hell out of Dodge, so Kari is forced to follow.

    As TK leaves, he tells Davis that somehow this amount of steam is compromising the building's structural integrity (in so many words, of course), and even though Davis is hearing, he's fucked. His inner-systems are going haywire, and... the steam is turbo-rusting his metal.
    Rust doesn't happen that fucking fast. Seriously. What kind of fucked up cyberworld is this?

    Yami and Davis share one final bit of banter before Davis smashes apart a cage that is apparently holding a wall full of barrels. Yami's one bad supervillain habit bites him in the balls as he is buried under a deluge of steel. Unfortunately, Davis's legs have rusted far too much for him to move despite somehow only having been in the steamy environment for twenty minutes. That, and good ol' fashioned exhaustion, make him collapse inside.

    Meanwhile, the three Digiheroes have Andromon surrounded on the roof. Andromon devolves back into, surprise surprise, Guardromon, who immediately begs for his life. The Digiheroes bind him and return him to ground level, just in time for reality to finally decide it's had enough of Mykan fucking up so many parts of it for the sake of a punishment fic. It snaps back, and as steam breaks every window, the factory collapses.

    Fortunately, it somehow turns out to not be Mykan's definition of a "huge corrosive disaster", but the factory's pretty fucking wrecked. The barrels save Yami from the collapse, but he fails to be a Houdini and karma bitchslaps him with kidnapping, blackmail, peeping, and attempted murder charges. Unfortunately, Davis' fate is ambiguous to everyone but the reader.

    More sparks and visible "soft electrical currents" are sighted, however the fuck electrical currents can be sighted, and hey it's Davis! An entirely rusted, innards-visible, electrified Davis! TK stops Kari from touching him because of electrical burns (nevermind electrocution), and Izzy, after looking over his heavily damaged body that's not really all that different from when he got exploded over, and in fact would probably be much easier to repair, promptly pronounces that Davis is mortally wounded.

    Around now, as Davis says in his last words, is when he finally rediscovered what love was. He hopes everyone has a better life, before Davis' joints all cease to be joints and his head explodes. And with that, Davis encounters a fatal exception. To tears from everyone.

    ----

    Off in Real-World-Landia, Mykan...

    "(Clenches fists)

    Mmm…!

    Like I said… There is no moving on for Davis, not anymore. He ends up with Kari, or he ends up Dead!

    Curse you Kari and TK… Curse you both! Davis' blood… and bolts… are on your hands!

    (Head on desk)

    Please… just leave me in peace!"

    ...dude, are you okay? You came buckets over the fact Davis died, then insulted Kari and TK for somehow being the main reason he died, then ask to be left alone, in the same ten fucking seconds. You need serious psychological help, bucko.

    Welp. Chapter 14 is probably going to be when all this wraps up. So I'll see you when I finally end this shitshow!
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    Re: Sparty Tries Out This Liveblogging Thing, And Also Cyborg Davis

    Post by [FAZE]xXx420blaz3sc0pexXx on Mon Sep 23, 2013 7:15 am

    SEGMENT 14/14 - CYBORG DAVIS
    LOADING WEAPONS
    BRINGING THINGS FULL CIRCLE
    CYCLE CONTINUATION AUTHORIZED

    ----

    Welcome to the wrap-up chapter. So! Davis is dead, Yami got arrested, and Mykan went from ecstatic to depressed in the blink of an eye. Let's go with "You lost it all".

    Izzy basically tells everyone that since human souls and Digimon souls are different, even if they fix Davis he will never be the same person. It's acknowledged that yes, Davis himself was partially to blame for these events (partially? Partially? PARTIALLY?), yet for some reason both Kari and TK knew that once they shacked up Davis would go fucking bananas.
    Then why would that have worried you? Sit down and talk it the fuck out.

    Eventually it becomes public knowledge that Davis' feelings for Kari were the cause of his death. However, for some reason the only thing people do is just give sour stares at Kari and TK when they go out. Occasionally they deny services, and there's an off-handed comment that Kari is going to find it a lot harder to be a teacher, because it's all Kari's fault that she didn't fuck Davis.

    Veemon gets suicidal for a while, but never actually acts on it. Meanwhile, TK and Kari have a fucking divorce, then Kari strolls up to a renewed Davis... but Davis doesn't know who she is and just keeps going on the noodle-cart route like he knows nothing.

    They tell their friends and they all pester Davis, but he responds by saying he doesn't know any of them, and acting like the cliche amnesiac. Apparently Izzy was able to get Davis a new body, but his head exploding fucked his brainwaves up so hard that he forget everything besides "Tai is my role model and big bro".

    Kari finally confronts him, and after a short conversation, ends up running away, blaming herself for Davis' death.

    ----

    In the Author's Note, Mykan says he's disgusted for even making this fic and says that "at least TK and Kari are divorced now".

    He immediately goes on to say that one half of the reason this shitshow was made was to punish Kari. The other half? To whine about Dakari not happening. He reiterates that there is no "be friends", and that with him it's ALL OR NOTHING..

    And so ends Cyborg Davis.

    Ugh.

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    Re: Sparty Tries Out This Liveblogging Thing, And Also Cyborg Davis

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